The L.A. Report – Part 27

06-21-2019

Hey Everybody!

This really should be called The Minneapolis/Wisconsin Trip report. If you don’t live in Minnesota or Wisconsin it might be a little boring. Even if you DO live there it might be a little boring! If you’ve had insomnia lately, however, it might be just the ticket!

On June 1^st, my 66-year-old cousin Chris passed away from COPD. He lived in New Richmond, Wisconsin all his life and our family lived only about an hour away so we visited all our cousins – along with our grandma, grandpa, aunt and uncle – several times a year.

One memory I have of Chris is when I must have been about 5 years old. For some reason he was giving me a ride home from the 101 Dalmatians movie on his bike. As we passed by street lights, our shadow would start to overtake us and he’d say, “Oh, no, he’s starting to pass us!” and start to pedal faster.

Another one that comes to mind is after I had appeared as an extra in a couple dozen TV shows in about 2000, he asked me to put together a VHS tape compilation of as many appearances as I had. “I’m proud of my cousin!” he said. [Wow, that just hit me all of a sudden].

RIP, Chris.

His memorial gathering was Saturday the 15^th so I flew into Minneapolis Friday night. It was the first time I had flown Spirit Airlines. Wow, bare bones, that’s for sure. The seat backs are hollowed out and instead of a pocket for the barf bag and safety instruction card, you tuck them into elastic shock cords to secure them. No free soda or snacks, either, but you can buy them for three bucks. It WAS cheap – a one-way ticket from LAX to MSP was only about $115. I didn’t check a bag or a carry-on but I did have to pay an extra $16 to choose my seat (gotta have a window seat).

In the middle of the flight, after it got dark, I started seeing these sweeping flashes of light on the ground. I finally realized it was the full moon reflecting off lakes and rivers we flew over. Nice.

When we were over North Dakota (by my estimate), we flew about 10 miles from a lightning storm. You know how spectacular a fireworks grand finale is? This was even more dramatic! It was just violent and non-stop, lighting up the clouds in orange for a good three or four minutes – pretty much the entire time we flew by. Wow, I’ve never experienced that before! Definitely worth my $16!

I got into Minneapolis around midnight. Luckily, Hertz is open 24 hours a day. The clerk checked me in fast enough, but when he told me where to get my car, I didn’t quite understand him so I went back to the office. He explained it again. I went out and still couldn’t find it. I went back to the office. He grudgingly came out with me (not all the way, though) and pointed to the area. He told me to take whatever car I wanted. I said I didn’t see any compact cars and he said, “we’re all out of compact cars so just take anything.” Actually I did see a Toyota Yaris so I decided to take that. It had keyless ignition, which I’ve never used, so I pushed the START button. Didn’t start. Pressed it again. Still nothing. So I went back into the office for the 4^th time and asked if there was something wrong with that car. He said you have to have your foot on the brake when you push the start button.

Finally I was on the road, but the car had one of those complicated displays that control everything and the radio was on and I couldn’t figure out how to turn it off or down or mute it or change the station. Somehow I was finally able to get it to stop. There was a bunch of construction on I-494 and I couldn’t see very well for some reason so I drove in grandpa mode. Plus it was just starting to sprinkle. At least the wipers were standard! I got to my hotel in Woodbury about a half-hour later.

By this time it was after 1:30 a.m. but the lobby was still open. There was nobody at the desk, however. I called on the house phone but got voicemail. A few minutes later, a clerk appeared at the desk. I said I wanted to check in. She glanced at her computer screen and said the computer was doing some batch process so she couldn’t check me in for 20 minutes, then just walked away. I walked back out to my car, thinking maybe I could use the time to familiarize myself with the car a little.

After about 10 minutes I thought I should go back in and see how the computer process was going. She said, “oh, I can check you in now.”

She gave me key cards for room 130 and pointed to the hallway. I got to room 138 and thought it must be near. Then 136. Good, closer. Then 134. Then the numbers were a complete jumble – 137, 131, 135, etc. WTF, who designed this??? 130 was on the other side and down a little more. Very weird, for a standard-looking Extended Stay hotel.

I still hadn’t eaten since lunch so I went to the vending machine room, hoping it had something resembling food. The closest they had was chips and popcorn. Oddly, everything in the entire machine cost $1.60. Everything. No matter what it was or what size. I only had a five and I assumed it would give me change. I bought some chips and the machine said I still had a credit of $3.40 (logically enough). I would rather have had the change, but oh, well – I kinda wanted some M & M’s, too. I typed the 3-digit code for the M & M’s and the machine must have decided I was having trouble making up my mind. So it gave me my change instead. Which would have been just fine, but it gave it all to me in nickels and dimes. And excruciatingly stow. Plop…plop…plop…plop… for about two minutes.

The rooms are all for extended stays so mine had a small kitchen with a coffee pot, microwave, refrigerator, stove, pots and pans, ironing board and iron, some more snacks and bottles of water. I wouldn’t describe it as nice but certainly adequate, especially since I was only going to be there for two nights.

The next morning I drove to New Richmond, Wisconsin, getting to the funeral home about 11:20 for the 11 – 3 event. There was no scheduled program and my brother and sister hadn’t arrived yet but I got to visit with several cousins, one of whom had 5 kids – sheesh, I remember when SHE was a kid! Eventually my siblings arrived and visited with everyone.

My mom is buried in a small cemetery about 15 miles from there so my brother and his wife, my sister and her husband and I all drove out to visit her grave, along with the graves of two aunts, two uncles, my grandpa and grandma. Then we went back to New Richmond for a gathering at Chris’s daughter’s house. After a few hours, I drove back to Woodbury for the night.

The next day, I had to drive back to Minneapolis to catch my flight back to L.A. Every time I’ve been back in Minneapolis in the last 10 years or so, it seems like they’re always doing major construction on the roads. This time they’re rebuilding a huge portion of I-35W so I couldn’t get off at 35^th or 46^th Street. And all the new stadiums! I passed Allianz Field and US Bank Stadium.

I thought, as long as I’m in town, maybe I should try to visit as many of my friends as possible, albeit with very little time. I also wanted to visit my dad’s grave at Lakewood Cemetery, so I made spur-of-the-moment arrangements to meet three totally unrelated friends (well, one guy brought his wife, so they’re related) at the cemetery.

First I made a stop at my old house on Aldrich Avenue. I hardly recognized it – it now has a second story! And the two 10-foot Maple trees I planted about thirty years ago are healthy and huge!

I also drove around Lake Harriet, where I had run thousands of times. It really brought back memories but I couldn’t remember which direction I used to run (alternated maybe?).

Then I drove over to Lakewood, visited my dad’s grave for 20 minutes or so, then drove over to the administration building. My four friends all arrived within minutes of each other.

None of them knew each other, which could have been awkward but we had a great visit as if we had all known each other for years. Then after 30 minutes, I left for the airport.

I had to top off the gas tank in my rental car before returning it. Wow, $2.67/gallon – that’s about a buck less than L.A.! Returning the car was very smooth and airport security is always a breeze when you have TSA Pre-Check. So I had enough time for a decent meal. MSP apparently is known for great food and I had a hot turkey sandwich with cranberry aioli. It even had stuffing and gravy, and not so stuffed as to make it messy or hard to eat.

My flight back was on Sun Country Airlines, not Spirit this time, and was mostly uneventful, although we did fly over the Ivanpah Solar Power Facility in Nevada. I’ve driven past it a few times going to Las Vegas but I only noticed one tower. From the air you can see all three. We also flew over Ontario airport and I could see a jet landing underneath us, but we were flying so high above it the jet didn’t look any bigger than a Cessna!

Going back to a “previous life” is always such an indescribable feeling. Surreal. Mixed emotions. Almost everything looks familiar but not quite as you remember. I always get the blues afterwards for some reason.

Well, that’s about enough Midwest news. My next L.A. Report will really be about L.A., I promise!

Love,

Jay